The Dress I Thought I Could Never Wear

The Dress I Thought I Could Never Wear

When I was younger, I wasn't particularly confident in my body.

Like so many women, I was young, healthy, and beautiful, but I couldn't see it. My hips were too big. My chin was too heavy. My arms weren't sleek enough. I carried around a long list of reasons why certain clothes simply weren't "for me."

One day I tried on a bias-cut dress.

It looked awful.

In hindsight, it was probably poorly made. The fabric certainly wasn't silk—it was almost certainly polyester. But that didn't matter. I walked away convinced that bias-cut dresses were simply wrong for women with hips.

I never tried one on again.

For decades.

 

Fast Forward To This Past Weekend

I was browsing through my favorite vintage shop, The Peaceful Pagan Vintage in little Wiscasset, Maine. If you've never been there, it's one of those magical places where every rack holds a surprise. The owner and I can talk for hours. She has an incredible eye for quality, understands what works on a size 10, middle-aged woman just as well as on someone twenty years younger, and genuinely loves what she does.

As I flipped through the racks, I pulled out a dress simply because I loved its muted, rich, mink-colored silk.

She smiled.

"That's vintage Victoria's Secret," she said. "Look inside. That's from when they used French seams. It's a fabulous piece."

She was right.

Every seam was beautifully finished. It was 100% silk. The craftsmanship was exquisite.

And everything about it screamed...

PUT ME DOWN. THIS IS NOT FOR YOU.

It was bias cut.

It was made from liquid, unforgiving silk.

It had spaghetti straps.

The back dipped low.

It was long.

Every single feature checked a box on the list of things I'd spent decades believing my body couldn't wear.

Still...

I took it into the dressing room.

I laughed and told her, "There is absolutely no way this is going to fit me."

I slipped it over my head.

The silk slid into place.

Perfectly.

I slowly walked out to the mirror.

And then I just... stared.

For six or seven minutes.

I barely spoke.

Behind me, she kept saying how beautiful my body looked in the dress.

I was honestly in shock.

Let's Be Clear

The dress isn't hiding my curves. Spanx may make an appearance. A little boob tape probably will too. But none of that changes what I saw in the mirror.

For the first time, I realized that my curves weren't something to disguise.

They were part of what made the dress beautiful.

I had spent decades believing I needed clothing that hid my body, when what I really needed was clothing that honored it.

Driving home, I couldn't stop thinking about all of you.

Every weekend, women step into my booth and say exactly the things I've spent years saying to myself.

"I can't wear wide-leg pants."

"My arms need sleeves."

"I'll buy it after I lose ten pounds."

Those aren't facts.

They're stories.

 

Our Stories Don't Define Us

We all have stories we've collected from a lifetime of disappointing dressing rooms, poor-quality garments, inconsistent sizing, and a fashion industry that too often teaches us to blame our bodies before we question the clothes.

When I design K. Becker, I design for us.

For real women.

For hips.

For waists.

For curves.

For women who have spent years believing they need to shrink themselves to fit into someone else's idea of what clothing should fit like.

So try on the wide-leg pant.

You may be surprised.

Try the skirt.

You may find yourself moving through the world with a little more lightness.

And to the women who tell me, "When I was working, I would have bought all these beautiful clothes. But now? I just wear leggings and sweatshirts to the grocery store."

There is absolutely nothing wrong with leggings and sweatshirts.

But are you really finished being the woman others notice?

The woman who walks into a room with confidence?

The woman who dresses because it brings her joy?

Wear the taffeta Studio Dress to the grocery store.

I do.

Wear the beautiful Riding Jacket to lunch with a friend.

Buy the adorable Studio Vest and matching Cropped Cardigan and show your arms.

Wear the boldly printed Geometric A Line Skirt on a Tuesday simply because it makes you smile.

Life doesn't stop asking us to show up simply because we retire.

Sometimes all it takes is trying on the one thing you've convinced yourself you could never wear.

You may discover that the story was never about your body at all.

This summer, if you find yourself on Route 1, stop into The Peaceful Pagan Vintage and see what kind of treasure finds you. Then wander around the corner to In The Clover — that fabulous vintage blouse would pair beautifully with a K.Becker Original. They were my first Maine boutique to carry some of my iconic pieces.